HELP
by btamamura
Summary: I'm feeling depressed. Can most of my fave bishounen help me before it's too late?


HELP yamitammy  
  
Hi, it's me again. This story is a self-insert and it's pretty depressing. After the fic I will announce what anime the characters are from, unless you already know. Please don't flame, this is based on my own depression.  
  
Tamara (A/N-That's me) was watching a depressing movie with her best friends Tracey Sketchit, Bakura Ryou, Quatre Rebarba Winner, Eli Moon, Koji Minamoto, Mitsuru Tsuwabuki, Kuroudo Marume, Ray Kon, Trunks Brief, Majic Rin, Richie (A/N-I still don't know his last name!), Oliver Polansky, Mitsuke Ohmori, Miki Kaoru, Duo Maxwell, Trowa Barton (AKA Triton Bloom) and Kyousuke Jin. All were struggling to hold back their tears as they watched scene after scene full of emotion. Tamara was crying the hardest, she was very sensitive to many things these days. She couldn't even watch Law and Order SVU due to a past experience. The movie finished and the friends all went to their respected bedrooms. "Goodnight, guys, I'll see you in the morning," Tamara said as she and Tracey entered their bedroom. (A/N-Yes, I love Tracey Sketchit, no, we don't get too naughty, the most we do is hug and lightly kiss, that's all)  
  
While Tamara slept in Tracey's arms, she started to whimper as tragic memories came back to her. The day she lost her mother, the day she learned her friend had killed herself, the day that caused her to be upset by anything on the news touching the very subject. She opened her eyes and slipped out of Tracey's embrace without waking him up. She threw on a nightgown and headed to the kitchen where she poured herself a cup of Coke (A/N-I can't have hot milk without nearly being sick) and sat at the table. 'Why did the flashbacks have to come now? Was it because of the movie? I wish I could get rid of the pain but even after all of the professional help (A/N-Try six counsellors, one psychologist and one psychotherapist) I still have this heavy burden in my heart. I can't even talk to Tracey about it, even though I trust him, it's just that what if my depression causes him to fall into depression too after all that he's gone through? I don't want him to be hurt.'  
  
"Hey, are you okay?" Kuroudo asked as he entered the kitchen. "Couldn't you sleep?"  
  
"No. I had some flashbacks and if you've been through what I have you'd also find it hard to sleep," Tamara replied as Kuroudo sat down next to her.  
  
"Have you told Tracey what's wrong?" he asked her.  
  
"No. I don't want to be the one responsible for bringing up a tragic past for him too. I don't want to be a burden."  
  
"Tracey would never consider you a burden, he loves you too much to think that. I might be six years younger than you (A/N-He's twelve, I'm nearly eighteen, but if you worked by the timeline in his anime, he'd only be three years old!) but I understand what you mean. Like I said, you should tell Tracey, he'll listen and do everything he can to help you."  
  
"I guess you're right. But, I don't know if talking to him will help me. Tracey and Bakura both know how much professional help I've had and it hasn't helped me very much at all."  
  
"Maybe that's because they didn't know you so well. Did you hide things from them?"  
  
"A couple of things. I pretended to have mental blocks during each session."  
  
"Sounds like a trust issue."  
  
"A trust issue?"  
  
"Yes. You didn't trust them very well but you trust Tracey with all of your heart. I'm sure that everything will work out." Kuroudo stifled a yawn. "Oh, I'd better get back to bed. Tamara, I suggest you do the same thing."  
  
"Okay. Night, Kuroudo."  
  
"Bonne nuit, Tamara," he replied in French. He left the room.  
  
'I think I will go to sleep. Forever.' Tamara headed over to the knife rack and pulled out really sharp knife. When she was satisfied with the sharpness of the blade, she wrote a note and placed it by the bed she and Tracey shared. 'I'll miss you, Tracey. Take care of the younger ones, they'll need your support.' She quickly fled from the room and headed outdoors to the park.  
  
Tracey woke up as he felt that Tamara wasn't there. At first, he passed it off as she's going to the toilet or something. That was when he noticed the note in Tamara's handwriting. He read it and his eyes widened. 'Oh no. Tamara!' He climbed out of bed and ran to the audio room. He pushed a button and an alarm flared. "Wake up, everybody! We have to save Tamara!" he shouted.  
  
"What's happening?" Jin asked as he rubbed his eyes and placed his glasses on his face.  
  
"It's about Tamara. No time to explain, we have to go now!" Tracey exclaimed as they all ran out of the house.  
  
Tamara stood in the park, knife touching her wrist. She was about to slit it vertically until she heard seventeen voices shout "TAMARA NO!!!!"  
  
Tamara turned and noticed the boys she lived with-one, her boyfriend and the others her best friends who were practically her brothers. "Guys, you shouldn't be here. You shouldn't see me like this," she stated emotionlessly. "You should be back at the house, you should be asleep, you should be-"  
  
"You shouldn't be doing this," Tracey whispered as he approached her. He snatched the knife out of Tamara's hand. "Why are you doing this?"  
  
"To be out of my pain and misery forever," Tamara replied simply.  
  
Kuroudo was shocked. "Tamara, wait-"  
  
Jin held his older friend back. "Wait. If you step closer, she might run off and try again. Let Tracey try to help her."  
  
Kuroudo looked over and noticed his two older friends. He recalled his words to Tamara and nodded. 'Why didn't I see this coming?'  
  
Bakura was in a state of shock, he couldn't believe that the girl he considered to be his older sister was trying to die. 'Amane,' he thought. 'If I lose Tamara, I'd have lost two sisters. What should I do?'  
  
"Not even my magic can help her now. It's an issue of trust and love. She must let herself go to Tracey if she wishes to get through her depression," Eli whispered to a stunned Koji.  
  
Ray looked at the couple. 'I hope Tracey can reach through to her.'  
  
The friends were all anxious, would Tamara be helped by her true love, or would she run off and try again somewhere else. When they saw Tamara collapse into Tracey's arms, they waited until Tracey gave them the all clear before they approached.  
  
"It's okay, guys, you can come over now," Tracey said as he embraced Tamara and rubbed her back.  
  
The other boys all ran over and hugged Tamara too. "Thank Ra you're okay," Bakura said.  
  
Tamara looked up and noticed her younger friends. She smiled slightly until she heard Kuroudo's choked up voice.  
  
"I'm sorry, Tamara. If only I'd seen the signs, this wouldn't have happened to you," the French boy said as he broke down into a fit of sobs (A/N-So what if he only cried once in the anime? Suicide is a depressing issue and even those with the strongest will would cry).  
  
Jin looked over to his best friend and frowned in concern. "Kuroudo? What do you mean?"  
  
"Kuroudo and I had a talk before. I couldn't sleep due to some flashbacks of my painful past. I told him about seeing all of the psychologists and not being able to receive the best help possible, all because I kept pretending that I had mental blocks. Kuroudo told me it must be a trust issue, I found it hard to trust the psychologists, but I should tell Tracey my problems because I trust him. I was worried about being a burden, or bringing up Tracey's past too by accident," Tamara explained. "So I considered ending the pain forever."  
  
"Oh, Tamara, I would never consider you a burden. I love you way too much to think that you're a burden. And you wouldn't bring up my past. It might be a bit similar, but it's your past and that's what I want to help you with," Tracey stated.  
  
"We'll all help you, if you'll let us," Bakura stated sadly.  
  
"If you feel that you can trust us," Jin added.  
  
"Okay. Well, it all started when. . ." Tamara started her story. At some stages she broke into tears causing the others to cry. She was about to stop, but they urged her to continue. After she finished her tale of her painful past, all found it hard to stop crying, the story was just too painful for Tamara to relive and the boys could feel her pain. The tears ended and Tamara wiped her eyes. "Thank you all, guys. I can't believe I nearly did such a stupid thing earlier. I'm glad you all came to stop me."  
  
"We couldn't just let you go through with it. You felt the pain of losing a friend that way and if you succeeded, then we'd feel the exact same pain," Tracey whispered softly to his true love.  
  
"I'm sorry," Tamara whispered as she embraced all of her friends one by one.  
  
The End  
  
Okay, I told you that was a bit depressing. Yes, my life really is like that-I did have those events take place and I did have to see a lot of psychologists which didn't really help me-and yes I do have some great friends who offer support. Okay, references are- Tracey Sketchit, Richie-Pokemon Bakura Ryou-Yu-Gi-Oh! Quatre Rebarba Winner, Duo Maxwell, Trowa Barton-Gundam Wing Eli Moon-Cardcaptors Koji Minamoto-Digimon Frontier (04) Mitsuru Tsuwabuki, Miki Kaoru-Revolutionary Girl Utena Kuroudo Marume, Mitsuke Ohmori, Kyousuke Jin-Crush Gear Turbo Ray Kon, Oliver Polansky-Beyblade Trunks Brief-Dragonball Z/GT Majic Rin-Sorcerer Stabber Orphen 


End file.
